would you ..

.. cry

whn im gone ..?

 

 

 

luther

27th May 07`
00:57AM

Listening now : Hero by Nickelback

 

Chapter I

 

.. dam..

Before even if I could even got started, I jus spilled my glass of water all over my table.

Here's my entry for today.

Instead of getting worried for my books & everything else

I pondered upon the baptism through water of life & death, my attention was diverted to death.

There were lots of disturbing thoughts running in my mind today. It was totally unwanted.

 

Some says that, when the claim of death is approaching before your time

Morbid events of the supernatural would serve as warnings.

I never believed in the supernatural.

Fact is im definitely seeing more, hearing more.

The devil wants me so badly down there

Don't worry, no suicidal thoughts.

It's more than I expected. *grins

"sell your soul for a wish in return ?" 

Angel & devil both in the same place, same time, different objectives.

 

Hell Speak

 

When I was under cold rushing water, my only moment of temporary tranquility

My mind obscured to the world outside, leaving my physical naked body behind.

Adam & Eve came into my mind, and it wasn't a divine messenger.

Message was precise yet heart & emotional throbbing

That's when I realized that I could still feel.

 

Strange & unaccountable events is definitely taking place yet

I cant be bothered to ask why or what.

Am I not slping enough ?

 

My life's changing

For something that I wont enquire.

 

Questions jus makes me aware how dreadful answers can be.

 

 

Chapter II

 

This was my main trace of thoughts today.

 

Words.

 

Words are use to describe expressions & thoughts

But how many times do we actually put words aside

And apply other forms of expressions.

When both mind thinks alike

And a whole new form of expression occurs.

telepathy

Have we as humans depended too heavily on words

And neglected the importance's of practical action.   

Or are we jus contented in our nutshell ?

 

"I do" two simple words, a lifetime of commitment.

At the end of the day,

do we remember how sweet these two words sounds

or

the wonderful journey you had with your spouse ?

 

I have came to an understanding that words are jus empty vessels ..

Carrying the promises, filling it particular character up and only then.

It's meaningful.

 

My eyes are shutting on me.

 

 

Past midnight, another day to struggle.

one gets hurt, so as another may live.

Fair deal

.. Life is jus too fair.

always.

 

00:36 AM

Listening now : Here Without You by 3 Doors Down

the day started with another nightmare.
life's getting more & more interesting as it goes
whn everythings so montone.. so redundant.. so death.
im starting to dread waking up to an ordeal every time whn the first light scorches into my eyes.
telling me that i've another 24hrs.
it's getting real sick.

oh gdness,
wake me up from this tormenting dream of yours.
take me awy if you wish,
somewhere far.
somewhere unseen.
somewhere quiet.
just somewhere.

whn the mental numbness take over the body
you're in control, yet not.
is it just a matter of choice ?
or simply just another self-conceived escape route.

personally.
i dont have the answer for you too.

 

 

 

 

 

when the truth becomes ludicrously charade
trust's ravaged.

you broke it. all.

 

11:32AM

time to get out of this home to do some personal additions.
keep your eyes open.

it has rly been some time .. years.

i guess after leaving this blog quiet & down does has its advantages,
now i wld be able to rant it all out widout anyone noticing [:

Chapter 1

life went through big changes for me & im glad abt it
as beings of this blue planet, i guess we hav to be mre positive than anything else to get by our days.

some wished for moments to last forever while many wished for time fast forwarded.
irony
ain't we all humans ?
do different experiences & ordeals moulds another type of person out whn we're believed to be of same roots & origins.
life's .. an irony.
ain't we supposed to have emotions & desires that are supposed to enhance & beautify our journey ?
do situations controls our emotions that results to misconceptions.

many times, i come across this phrase.
we're control of our fate.
and again, how many times do we fufil to this notation.

questions constantly asks abt my existance.
i guess only by that thn i wld be able to feel myself.

End

Today is 9th April 07`
11:05 PM

you left me hanging again.

Muse - You cld be e one who listens to my deepest inquistions..

I want to express
but i am loss of words
sudden loss of expressions;

feelings lost,
lost on the path.
afterall; afterall.
it wasn't meant to be.

thy way of life.
would be forgotten under the earth.

i lurve you!
i will marry you not because you are someone i can live wif. BUT
because you are someone that i cant live wifout!

baHHHHHHhhhhh that was fun. hyuu okay, im off :D

touch of happy hand. Happy? LOL wth ><
12:33
fun Xp

lurve is in e air? the feeling of it that lurve is kinda all around. not tt im in lurve or watsoever.
haha, i jus hav e feeling ><

today was jus a normal friday, and i doubt i will not be smoking until wed, guess so. wahaha.
why? i dint hv a single puff today and i doubt i will be buying any ciggs, controlling. ><
then monday tues n wed, i will be at e level camp, kinda having draggy draggy feelings. but i bet i'll learn something there :D and lots of items are still being shorlisted, this weekend, i will hv to open my eyes big :p it's kinda scary how time passed this week
monday was sch celebration and i dint went, tues was national day and wed was day off. yesterday was fast, and so is today, come to tink abt it.. my coming week will hv e same fate too. mon, tues n wed equally burnt.
im having the prediction tt i wont be able to focus during e camp. weird feels of e day.

hmm. hope it wld be pleasant..
having tuition at 10 early tml. boredified.
maybe update later? goin out now
mis ya.

touch of cursed hand

shrucks.
im failing deeper to tsubasa.
in e 16th esp of tsubasa.. jus a short review ;D

there was this lady, charme going to an anicent temple, in her mind that the temple would grant any wishes. but fer ages, the temple was fobidden as anyone enters will be cursed by the anicent spirit.
then she was cursed after-all, then her loved one i supposed, keefer-kun came and hold charme in his arms and asked the spirit of how to break the curse.  it turned out that a sacred treasure would save charme, so keefer fought fer it.. but that's not the highlight.
in the end whn charme was healed and they were going off..
keefer asked charme..
"can i ask something?"
"yes?"
"why did u go to the temple?"
"because.. i wanted to make a wish..
...a wish to marry to a certain man.."

im having fries n hot choclate infront of me now :D envious?
wahaha, fries are overnite n kept inside e fridge and so i toasted them, as fer hot choco.. e packet has been lying at there like fer... mths? ><

FRIES ARE.......... soft >< and e hot choco tastes mint >< like dental mint. it's FOOD, who cares. :D
wait ah, mom ask me to take down e clothes. hyuuu~

BACK :DD I JUS BIT A CRIPSY FRY, *bish, not that housefly.
wakakas~

today was nice, slpt to abt 10? then slowly came outta of bed n on e comp then - bshhhhh - rain >< mus be char at there demanding rain frm e skies. after msn-ing a while, bath n went to get MC.. wahahaha~ >;)

cursed whn i went there, morning's registeration was closed and it was 11.55.. HOW CLD IT BE.. >< so took my que no. then had to come back at 1.30.. jus nice sch's celebration was finished then saw dix, shaz, noel, bom, jum-ban, everyone la wahaha. bom, jum-ba they all left to dont know where.. so lepak wif dix, shaz n noel.. dix was waiting fer nadia then whn she came, we were disturbing dix wif ciggs infront of nadia "dix, marlboro u sell 4.50 ah?" wahaha~  :x soorrrry bro! it was fun ma :x after some time finally dix n nadia is togther le, all e best bro! beauty is in e eyes of e beholder ;D

thn report back to clinic, smoke alil there :p took MC n med thn CHAO le~ came home slackk watch a dvd '7 second' then sadifying msn msg, hope he will be back as normal yeah girl? dont tink so much. fer a frown uses more muscles than a smoke. >_> smoke?.. i meant smile* :D

quote of e day : dont blame the baker whn e bucther bakes the bread.
meaning? you're fcked.
how wld i know why.. it's a romanian saying :P adpated from 7 seconds.

touch of cursed hand